Monday, September 10, 2012

Beastly Traits of a Man-Beast

You've read about the Man-Beast on my blog. But let me give you a few more tidbits about what makes my husband so beastly. Maybe with football season starting up, he's displaying more beastly traits? Anyway, here's a few good ones from the past week.

{1}Burps. Blows it in my face. Says in a Darth Vader voice, "I wanted to share that with you."

{2}Farts in his cupped hand. Puts his cupped hand over my nose and yells, "Fruit cup!"

{3}Puts the Baby Panther in a box then puts her on the couch... while he watches football.

Look at her giving me the stink eye!
{4}Puts Baby Panther in a box then puts her everywhere - on the counter, on top of the fridge, on the TV tray, and even on his lap while he talks on the phone.

He doesn't like to admit it, but he LOVES her!
{5}YELLS at the replacement refs. Not short phrases like, "Come on!" But full-on, one-sided conversations, "They don't get a time out! The had an injury! The rules say an injury counts as a time out! What are they doing!? They are OUT! Out of time outs!" I expect the old woman next door to come over at anytime during an NFL game to tell him to calm down. That woman does not know what she will be walking into.

When it's time to have babies, I hope we have girls. I couldn't stand four or five people fruit cupping me.

What beastly traits does your Man-Beast exhibit?


Kelly TheWellReadRedhead said...

Ah, fruit cup. Round here that's called a "scoop n feed". Le sigh.

Julie Chicklitasaurus said...

ahah! 'Scoop n feed.' Who teaches them these things!?